Virgin Lips: Kissing is dangerous said who?

No sex before marriage? Of course not. My body is a temple of the Lord's and it will only be given to my future hubby. No kissing before marriage? Ummm idk about that. I mean I guess if it honors God I won't but why not?

This was my viewpoint on kissing before marriage.  I knew sex before marriage was a major no no but what's wrong with kissing? As you know I am a part of the pinky promise movement founded by Heather Lindsey.  If you don't know her story here's a little piece. Her husband, Cornelius, told her he would not kiss her until their wedding day. They said they wanted to honor God in their relationship and this was one of the ways they did that.  They also mentioned how they knew what kissing could lead to. They knew "their equipment worked" because they had previous sexual relationships so it was no need to test drive it.

This led me to go back & forth between kissing before marriage or not kissing before marriage? That was the question. I mean I had never been in a relationship or had sexual encounters before and on top of that I had never kissed anyone!  So clearly I had self-control. I didn't need to set-up this boundary of no kissing before marriage because I could handle it.  I could kiss & stop right there. #SuperSaint

However, my perspective totally changed a few months ago.  I was on YouTube watching Christian videos & I came across this video by Dephne Madyara. The video she made was titled, "Why KISSING is only safe in marriage." My thoughts were: "Safe? How is kissing not safe?" So then I watched the video.  She said kissing prepares you sexual intimacy. While kissing, The nerves in the lips communicates to your brain what is happening and the brain communicates back to the body.  To be more clear she broke it down into steps. When kissing....
1. You tingle and get hot flashes
2. Produce extra saliva
3. Hormones become released in the body
4. Hormones produce caring and bonding feelings
5. Heartbeat begins to race
6. Your sexual organs are prepared for the next step...

In addition, I was on my way to work listening to a podcast called Culture Wars by Voddie Baucham.  There was one point in the sermon where he said that there were three men in the Bible fell into sexual sin.  Samson the strongest man in the Bible fell into sexual sin.  David one of the most spiritual men in the Bible fell into sexual sin.  And lastly, Solomon the wisest man in the Bible fell into sexual sin.  I'm not more spiritual than David, wiser than Solomon, or stringer than Samson so why would I feel that I can be strong enough to resist the temptation kissing brings?  2 Timothy 2:22 says, "flee from temptation" and kissing outside of covenant is running to temptation instead of away.

Needless to say this Proverbs 31 woman in the making won't be kissing no body until the words "I do" come out my mouth. Kissing is dangerous and I don't want to put myself or my future hubby in that position until we are under covenant. I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this topic. Leave your thoughts/comments below.


  1. Hi Tierraney! This was something my fiancé and I discussed even way before we were engaged. I appreciate how he was the first to set physical boundaries between us when we started dating. We did not kiss at all as boyfriend/girlfriend but we had our first kiss when we got engaged (but no French kissing until we get married). We've decided that holding off kissing till marriage may not be for everyone but we acknowledge that, as in your list, kissing *could* lead to other things. Props to you for choosing to protect yourself this way :) For us, we are rarely on our own when we see each other and if it's just the two of us, we'd be out in public. Because we've allowed ourselves to kiss, we avoid situations when it would be just the two of us in private.

  2. Hi Patricia! Thanks for sharing this. I like how every Christian couple I have come across really took the time to not be legalistic about "do's" and "don'ts" but instead set up their own boundaries unique to their personal relationship. At the end of the day I've just learned that while boundaries may vary they are def. necessary!


What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear from you!

© Miss TierraneyMaira Gall