Got False Hope?

False hope is a fantasy. A fantasy that I have lived in for 20 some odd years. Well I'm not Cinderella and there is no happy ever after at least not here on this planet. Every season of my life has brought its challenges. Now when I face challenges I become unhappy and my first instinct is RUN....AWAY.....FAST! However, I'm not a quitter. I hardly ever quit a task that I have signed up to do. Even if I hate it or not I finish it until the end.

I've grown to realize that through each season there's always something about it that makes me want to press fast forward and quickly enter the next season. This is because I just get in fantasy mode where I hate my current state & start to believe the grass is greener on the other side. I begin to believe wholeheartedly that the next season is going to be so much better than what I'm currently in. It's got to be...right? However, the grass truly is not greener. It never has been & it never will be at least not on earth.

False hope has had me in a choke-hold for years. As I said in other blogs growing up I went to the same school from pre-k through 12. It was a private christian school and I hated it. I built up the illusion that once I just graduate everything is going to be so much better. I couldn't wait to leave and move to another state for college. In 2009 I graduated happy as ever and took my little self all the way to Georgia for college. Let me just say it didn't take 30 minutes of moving into my freshman dorm room before I wanted to go running back home. However, since I'm not a quitter I stayed and suffered[being dramatic] through the four years. I said, Lord I just can't wait until I graduate college. I'm going to move back home with my new job and everything is going to be great. Well guess what? About 9 months ago I graduated college and moved back home & Im working in my new job. Yet, I've found my self saying I just can't wait until I'm done teaching in May 2015[the date when my teaching program is over]. I said My Lord how did I find myself in this predicament AGAIN?

It's called false hope. It's a trap of the mind. Each and every season of life will bring its struggles, trials, and tests. Things will never be 100% and lovely even while in the will of God. You will never get along with everybody. Things will NOT ever be perfect. This is not a new revelation that I just discovered. In fact I learned this a few years ago but it's just something within me that has this maybe, just maybe everything will be all good for once. I just want to believe one day I'll love my job, the people I interact with & my future husband/kids.

Truth is some of these miserable seasons I brought on myself by not being spirit led but flesh led. I was doing and going where I wanted to go and not where God wanted me to go. Yet, my God is a merciful God and every hott mess situation I've been in he's brought something good out of it. Displaying his sovereignty in each and every way.

The next big thing in my life I'm looking forward to is marriage. Let me just say I'm so glad God showed me this false hope mentality now and that he is shaking it out of me. Truth is I'm a little bit afraid because marriage will NOT be a fairytale la la land. It's going to bring me to some moments where I will want to RUN....AWAY.....FAST. I know this because of testimonies I've heard from other Christians. Yet I won't be able to jump ship this time or just "get by" because I know this is only a temporary situation. See marriage is 'til death - heavy gulp. I'm so glad that I've been practicing on being resilient in tough times throughout my life. Something I could have done better is work on my attitude in the middle of these seasons. This is something I will work on through my current season so I can practice for marriage. How about you? Have you suffered from false hope? Let me know & leave a comment below.

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  1. I've always struggled with thinking the next part of my life will be better and thinking everything will be right, just to end up disappointed.Thank you so much for writing about this.

    1. Hi Alyssa! Thanks so much for reading and sharing your experience as well. One thing that has helped me is doing. Contentment challenge. Each day I write out what I'm thankful for for that day specifically. It really helps me focus on what's good about my current season producing a content spirit. Ill blog about it more deeply some time in the near future.


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