
can fill your loneliness void. No man can ever do that. No man is perfect. So when they mess up because you held them to a higher standard and placed all these unnecessary expectations on them you’ll become angry and frustrated. Which will often times lead you to a break-up or a divorce. This is why you must keep God first always.
Although
I myself do desire to be married I trust in the Lord’s timing. Let me just tell you that if you have the
desire to get married you will. How do I
know? Because God said in Genesis 2:18, “it is not good for man to be alone.”
So calm down. As a single this is your
time to focus on you. Sorry to break it
to you but many of you women are not ready to be in a relationship or to get
married. I myself included. I know that if I was to jump into a
relationship I would mess up that man’s life.
I’m not ready. I believe you date
to marry. Every relationship serves a
purpose. The purpose of dating is to see
if that person is the right one for you to marry. That’s why I am not dating anyone! Because I’m not ready to be married. Get it? I want to be married but I’m not ready
to be married. Therefore I don’t
date. It’s that simple. At this time I need to focus on my relationship
with God and He needs to fix me in a few areas before I’m properly ready to be
a wife. In marriage you cannot be
selfish, you need to be loving, patient, kind, and submissive. And I need work in each and every one of
those areas! Just being real! Once
you’re married you cannot dump a man just because he made you mad. And honestly I struggle with that when people
make me mad I usually leave them and move on to the next. That’s not the way it works in marriage. You cannot just up and leave every time
something doesn’t go your way. As I
press into Christ and spend time with him daily he begins to work on me and fix
me in areas I need work on. I
challenge you to ask yourself what areas do you need work on? Are you impatient? Do you like to take control of every situation
which is why you have problems submitting to authority? Do things have to be
your way or the highway? If so it doesn’t look like your ready for a
relationship or marriage yet either. You
can learn a lot about marriage and relationships by reading books on
relationships and talking to Christian couples who are married and learn from
them. For, example I read the book So You Want to Be Married by Cornelius
Lindsey and it taught me a lot.
Information that I needed to know and often times I say to myself dang
well if I would have been married already I would have went in without knowing
this good information. As I read these
books and spend time with God I am continuing to prepare myself to be married.
Instead of looking for “the one” focus on becoming “the
one.” Many women write their little list of “Top 10 things I want in a man”
Then you pop off at the mouth and you say if he ain't got x,y, & z then he
ain't the one for me. Ladies this must
stop. Have your standards please! Never
settle but learn that the number one most important thing is that your man is
100% fully devoted and committed to Christ.
Once married the man must be the head of the household and if his
relationship with God is non-existent then you’re in big trouble. I just briefly touched on submission and how
it’s important to be a submissive wife but it’s really going to be hard to do
that if the man that your married to is being lead by his own wicked ways and
not God. God must be at the center of any relationship and if He’s not that relationship
is no good. So back to the list. We cannot be caught up on finding a man that
meets all of the requirements on your list.
Why? Because I’ve learned from people that are married that their spouse
didn’t meet all of those requirements yet they still married them. Why? Because God had to still develop them in
those areas. Most of them say that since
they’ve been married they’ve seen there spouse develop in that particular area
that they might have been weak in prior to their marriage. I’m not saying you can change a man. So don’t go around married this unsaved man
and think you can jump the broom and hope and wish that the Lord will develop
them to become a Christian. No doesn’t
work like that. We must be equally
yoked. We cannot marry unbelievers. But as I began we have to stop looking for
the one and start becoming the one.
Instead of writing your top 10 list of things you need in a man flip
that around and write your top 10 list of things you need to be for your future
spouse. Submissive? More Patient? Kind?
Whatever it is work on that. And if you
don’t know the areas you need work in ask God to show you your heart. He will and He’ll help you grow and develop.
Instead
of crying, whining, and complaining to God about being wanting to be married
learn to enjoy being single! And you’re
wondering how on earth can I do that?
Start by working on you! Spend
time with God daily. Read your Bible, listen to sermons, read devotionals. When you’re fully devoted to chasing after
God you will not have time to chase after a man. Stop watching wedding shows such as David
Tutera and Say Yes To The Dress when you know they make you sad and lust after
a relationship. Don’t listen to love
songs like “All My Life” by KC & JO JO when you know you’re just going to
end up depressed and down in the dumps because you have yet to be married. Don’t set yourself up for that. Guard your heart. You know if watching those TV shows and
listening to that music is a weak area for you and makes you start questioning
God’s timing. Continue to chase after
God and before you know it He’ll be presenting you to your Adam.
This was so beautifully written. Awesome message!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! Please share with others if you can (:
DeleteLove this and your entire blog so far, I can relate as a single Christian woman, can't wait to see more from you. Check out my blog too please, thanks
ReplyDeletehttp://virtuous-beauty.blogspot.com/
Thanks so much Jen!! I will definetly be checking your blog as well! (:
DeleteAwesome and very inspiring! I'm very glad I found your blog, please keep writing! God Bless
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